FML Music Spotlight: VON

Von moves through New York’s queer underground like a force of nature. Musician, DJ, performer, and founder of the performance art collective BLOODY MARY, she transforms the stage into a crucible of immersion and erotic vulnerability. Her work balances intimacy and exposure, fear and comfort, rejection and surrender. It is both a confrontation and a celebration, a reckoning with Catholic guilt, a refusal of isolating individualism, and a feast of communal queer expression.

BIRTH. BRAND. BREED

Von’s theory of the artist cycle unfolds in three stages: offering, insufferability, and insatiable desire. This project inhabits the first stage, BIRTH, the moment a carefully bred and gestated work is forced into the world. Creation is never gentle. It is exhausting, violent, and extractive. The artist exhales life into something that did not exist, at great cost to herself.

In this shoot, Von births a raw, fetal version of her work, vulnerable, incomplete, unstable, a monster of its own making. To sustain it, she regurgitates fragments of herself, body, mind, and soul, so that it can survive. Once released, the work escapes her control. It mutates, grows, and takes on a life beyond her ownership. In the aftermath, the artist is left emptied, a spectator to her own creation, watching it moves forward without her.

The conversation turns inward and outward at once. Von reflects on the deliberation and exhilaration of bringing work into the world., how her performances demand total immersion, and the ways she cultivates spaces for queer expression. Here, she speaks directly about her process and her vision.

FML You move between musician, DJ, and performance artist. How do those disciplines inform one another in your work?
V: I think it’s so important to value our breadth, I’ve never understood the whole “find your niche thing”. I think our niche is always made up of our breadth. I value being multidisciplinary and try to have robust and diverse creative outlets. They all feed the same thing, it all compounds.

FML As the founder of BLOODY MARY , what kind of space were you hoping to create within NYC’s queer underground scene?
V: I wasn’t really trying to create a space in the NYC underground as much as I was just in need of that space myself. My friends and I wanted a space where there could be blood and gore and boxing but within contexts that were queer, open and welcoming energetically. It started as a place for us to play in more than anything else.

FML Your performances are described as immersive. What does immersion mean to you in a live setting?
V: I think hard lines between the audience and the performer are a bit boring. Prioritizing immersion means finding new ways for the audience to feel a part of the lore. As the performer I want the audience to feel like we both serve an equal importance, like we both have some sort of stake.

FML You often explore themes of vulnerability and exposure. How do you translate those ideas into sound and staging?

V: My team and I love to play with the tension between indulging in oversharing and remaining cryptic. The oscillation between both ends is prominent sonically and therefore translates to how we craft our stage shows. We use body form, lighting, stage design and show narrative to dance between both extremes.

FML The concept of BIRTH, BRAND, BREED. frames the artist’s cycle in three stages. When did this theory first take shape for you?
V: I’ve always viewed artistry as surrogacy, and I’m definitely not the first person to note the comparisons. The insatiability of artistry makes it so that we continue this cycle knowing we have no control after the work has left us. We birth an idea, knowingly giving it away and we are then branded by whatever other people deem that idea to mean. The last part of the cycle is the desire to breed again, with new stains, always succumbing to the same feral need to continue against our will. We do this over and over until we reach satisfaction, knowing that satisfaction doesn’t ever really come. The postpartum propels us back to start the cycle again.

FML This particular project investigates BIRTH. What drew you to focus on that stage of the cycle right now?
V: I spent my last year doing a brand new show every 6 weeks. It felt like the cycle of birth was on repeat for the past 12 months, so it easily translated here.

FML You describe creation as exhausting and extractive. How does that intensity manifest in your music?
V: I obviously love making music, but I think for me the enticing element has always been in the exhaustion and extraction that comes with it. It’s felt more like scooping out my innards than having a relaxing creative outlet haha. Whether that’s what someone takes away from my music when they listen is less up to me, but the way it’s made is definitely reliant on that evulsion.

FML In the shoot, you present a raw, fetal version of yourself. How did you and photographer Eliza Jouin collaborate to bring that vision to life?
V: Eliza and I have spent so much time talking through these concepts together that I was really able to give them full trust to plan most of the shoot creative. It’s always really fulfilling to have those kinds of creative relationships. There’s an inherent trust that you’re on the same page.

FML What conversations did you have with the creative team before the shoot about tone, symbolism, and emotional impact?

FML The idea of a work emerging incomplete and unstable is powerful. How do you embrace imperfection in your artistry?
V: I produce and write everything myself, so I never really feel like anything’s “finished” due to my own creative perfectionism. But I think having to share the work forces me to override that. I put out an entire EP last year of new versions of previously released songs. My hard drive has at least 5-10 completely different versions of every song I’ve ever released. I feel like leaning into this insatiability rather than fighting with it is where I find my own artistic harmony.

FML There is a tension between control and release in your concept. How does that tension show up in your production choices?
V: I personally have more fun making music that’s almost hard to listen to. I want the production choices to be intricate even if it sacrifices a more succinct song structure. I prioritize a drawn out tension build more than a catchy hook, not because both don’t have merit but because for me that’s how I best feel able to translate the idea.

FML You describe the work as eventually separating from you. How do you emotionally prepare to let a project stand on its own?
V: I don’t know if you ever do, and I assume this is also true at much larger scales. I think we share work because we feel an inner desire to, not because it’s necessarily a choice. I always joke that if I quit this and worked in marketing I’d be really good at my job and have a way better relationship with my family, but it’s just not something my body allows. I think there is a beauty to feeling like you make art against your will, and an honesty in the carnal push to do so even when it sometimes creates more hurdles than solutions. After the work is made it’s not our job anymore to claim ownership over it, it just becomes another part of the cycle.

FML Community seems central to your artistry. How does collective experience shape the way you create and present work?
V: I just think it’s really important to remember that we’re not unique. We’re never experiencing something in a vacuum, so for me, sharing work based on my personal experience and seeing people relate to it keeps me close to the ground. It’s a reminder that sometimes we just think about ourselves too much, or think that what’s happening in our head is revolutionary or is a pain that hasn’t been felt before. All it takes is connecting with one of the many people who share the experience for you to be reminded that you’re always a part of a bigger thing.

FML What role does physicality play in your performances?
V: I enjoy pushing my body’s physical restraints, whether that be just learning challenging choreo or having a string pulled out of my vagina to be stapled to the wall in front of an audience of strangers. For me I never want performance to exist within my comfort zone. Showcasing the stripper as an athlete, the artist as a vessel and the audience as an integral part is all extremely important for me whenever creating something in physical space.

FML Sonically, what textures or moods define this era for you?
V: I’ve been enjoying textures that feel cinematic or atmospheric and juxtaposing them with more buoyant, hard hitting percussive elements. Everything’s always just about tension and release 😉

FML When audiences encounter “V on” for the first time, what feeling or question do you hope lingers with them afterward?
V: My goal is to always leave people with more questions than answers, so regardless of what the questions are I just want them to have more when they exit the work than when they entered it.

Von’s #FMLFaves

Favorite Song: Right now it’s Dead by Sudan ArchivesFavorite Movie: The Devils (1971). Got put onto this by my friends Alex and Rob and haven’t looked back since.
Favorite Dish: Unfortunately I’m a food for sustenance girl. I live on a Go Macro bar and a dream.
What’s in your bag?: Everything. I literally do not leave the house without a bag of everything I could possibly need. Earplugs, hard drives, deodorant, lip stick, press ons, tooth brush, incense, k, first aid, the list goes on.

Talent: Von // @vonmusic

Creative Direction: Eliza Jouin // @ejouin

Photo: Eliza Jouin // @ejouin

Styling: Joyce Esquenazi Mitrani // @j_____em

Makeup: Joey Elliot // @elliotsfx

Set Design: Lane Vineyard // @lane.vineyard

Set Design Asst: Gabrielle Arriaga

Hair: Hitomi Yamano // @hetoldmehitomi

Nails: Odera Nkem-Mmekam // @do.u.dare.me

Photo Assist: Caroline Cavalier // @carolinecphoto

Production Assist: Jack Stein // @jackdeckers

Pre-Production: Estrella Luna // @stargirlrising_